And now that I have, I have a new perspective. This is the extent of OUR now/not now difference when it comes to love. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. I had to call my mother to take me.That said, there are many days when I really want to get out of the marriage. WebBeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. I hear you, I cant count the number of times my husband made it very clear that myillness was a hughinconvenience for him there was no thought to how it made me feel. My husband thinks it's hilarious to ask when I'll be sexually available again but balks when I ask him for some ice to settle my stomach. Im worried and curious what to look for. Thats it. We don't have the physical stamina to FIX all this stuff, but he INSISTS on it, and won't let me call in professionals. And my mother ( the other one with ADHD who I got it from? I agree. I agree 100%. We've been married 17 years. My husband never realized what was happening right under his nose. Sometimes it's commitment to dinner hour where you discuss things together (rather than eating alone). That is my H 100%! How a Narcissist Treats a Chronically Ill Spouse. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. Submitted by thparkle on Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:19. My A-Hole ex Husband was a jerk to me when I broke my foot the year before we divorced. When you marry, the two working, bill-paying adults in the house should set the important stuff togetherlike budget, schedule, vacations, house rules. It's the thought that matters <3. I felt so good in the beginning, the wanted to die from the guilt and then angry when I realized I was even more codependent with this guy. WebSign #7: He doesnt ask you any questions about you and doesnt seem interested in who you are. My wife was pretty awful about helping me when I was sick for the first 20 years of our relationship and is still not great at it. What symptoms first occurred in If you want to connect with your partner the 'trick' is two fold. I am still me; I am unchanged to you. His sister died from alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was only 51. Life goes on around us when we are sick. Stay away from me!" Unreal. Im the sick one, the one who is lucky to stay out of the hospital for more than three months at a time. Hi. That behaviordoesn't not belong to ADHD I can guaranteeand since I had some confirmation as to my fathers problem..I can say that in his casethat was NPD! My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! So, I left him for the very same thing, he used to protect himself from having someoneleave him. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. Some of the scorn heaped upon ADHDers by their non-ADHD partners must CERTAINLY be readable in their partner's body languageeven if their partner is trying to be nice. They'll let me be to recuperate, since they know it's nasty. yuck. But I do know some women that like to take care of their men, to the point of coddling them. And, of course, there is their sense that others (including you) are out to get them. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. She is mad about something(unless you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it together). He/she is merciless. When he is having a great day, like this past Saturday, my efforts were worth it but I won't pretend that he is fixed. Why? He is generous to others but asks me when I can pay him back. a pleasure". Now I see, and now I can and will be your Captain Marvel. You carry on, steady through the storm. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Sign #9: He treats you like everyone else. I do believe the process may work if it s just adhd or adhd lite and there aren't significant co morbidities or emotional, physical or substance abuse and life is stable otherwise, ie no major financial complications. Best of Luck to you all and I look forward to reading your story. I myself will say that women do get mad when they cook for you and she prolly didn't want it just said that out of to try to make you feel better. (Different situation for the writer of this post.) Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. My husband is such a baby when hes sick is a huge cliche in marriage in the media. I hope your foot heals soon and that you're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere. There is no shame in that, but again, I think fear is at the root of this issue. After 2 years of therapy for myself, I am in a better place. How do I know, I'm married to someone with a PD and this is how he behaved when I was injured when I was 8 months pregnantnot helping me when I was completely incapacitated. 9. (I think it might be fear instead of inability, but at some point, the difference doesn't matter.) I could have written pages and pages in response. When he's not sleeping, he's making random 'sick' noises like sighing, I told her that as long as I took it slow, I would be OK. My husband didn't offer to help, he just stood there, and I could hear the wheels turning in his head. Lately he finds more reasons than not to leave the house to help someone else anybody else. No excuse on either side. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. But it's certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we didn't communicate. I'm taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, making meals. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. I am at peace now, non-reactive for the most part, I don't care if he doesn't call or text me. You cant change something you dont know needs to be fixed. Wanting to CONNECT? Hed get one color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else. And, to feel loved in return, you need to be sexual with each other. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Submitted by kellyj on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 14:18. (again, fear). Then he could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own timing, but it didn't happen. Instead he walked around the car, got in the back seat and proceeded to yell at me for the next 15 min about how "he does not have time for this" & "why did I call him(my husband) and not my sister or my niece". Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:18. Or begging him to drive you home. (And he sees this as a good thing)half done, with walls half painted. Your husband is a narcissist, sorry to say. This is not ok. My ex didn't have ADHD. He is Always the "Victim" and Everything is Always My Fault! Iris is somewhat of a unicorn a zebra unicorn even! Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. Or pulled a muscle in my back. Because in his mind, I'm supposed to be taking care of him.not the other way around. I was a great person to be around but the lies hurt and changed me. Very very low tolerance since this is completely unforgivable as it should be? If you feel leaving him will make you happy then do it. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? Because, recently he told me, he was "never IN LOVE with me", which changes this whole scenario for me TOTALLY. Being romantic just to get sex will be seen as manipulative. I do believe he is plagued internally by his demons and if I can't show compassion and let go of resentment, I would surely hate him for marrying me. Several years ago they broke their foot (minor avulsion fracture) by twisting their ankle, requiring several weeks with a boot and wrap to recover. Yeahand just imagine trying to trust people when you grow up with everyone telling you you don't fit inand if you let that pain in all the time, instead of shut it out, you would be a puddle on the floor. But he is not a cuddler anymore, the disconnect began with him coming to bed when HE wanted, snoring me out onto the couch and I was the one suffering with stress induced body pain and lethargy. Press J to jump to the feed. WebNo, that's not normal in a loving marriage. But, again, that is in the "now", but what about the "not-now"? A few weeks ago, he reiterated (I think he's said this once before) why nothing worked: while he professed to wanting a relationship with me, he actually is unable to form personal connections. I know this may sound "corny", lol, but I don't think I'm too off base with this. Nothing. You can find even more stories on our Home page. She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. Well, then, I say. Your wife is negative because she doesn't know how to deal with her angry/upset/self-loathing emotions so she projects them onto 'faults' that you have. How can she stop? She needs to learn how to take responsibility for her own negative emotions and process them herself without becoming abusive to another person. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. You never falter. There is no reason under the son a man or woman should be second to anyone when it comes to survival in health, shelter or love period. Sign #12: He Doesnt Pay For Anything. That's just I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. I would have been down on my kneesbegging for forgiveness.for making me go swimming with 104 degree temperatureand not believing me or showing the concern when I was told that I was sick and didn't feel well? When I was3 months pregnant, wetook a trip to Mexico. I left work early and took them to hospital, tended them there, brought them home and generally took care of as much as I could to keep them comfortable and on the way to mending throughout. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! with love respect and truth! Anyway, I got way off track here. Thanks a lot!" If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. Like I was some animal in the Zooand he was just coming to see the specimen out of curiosity. She even acts like I am somehow putting her out by not being 100%. Boy did we cry. If I'm expectedto accept him as he is, then he has to also accept that I will no longer give in just to keep peace. Some people wait until the water is visibly murky before performing maintenance on the tank. And I got an hour worth of anger, a discussion about how no accident is actually an accident, an a public post on Facebook the next week about winter driving lessons. My husband was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering. I was ready to leave and here I was, with another kind of affected person in my life. That's life. I don't believe the behavior is intentional in my case. Thank you for reminding me that it's me and my wife with each other now. Its a cultural thing as a whole. Nothing sexual ever happened but after 2 years of him love bombing me, calling me hot, beautiful, his soul mate, his twin, etc, he would discard me when I got too needy and hoover me back in when he needed an emotional pick me up. But I truly think my husband is being a pussy sometimes. he gets very angry. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. I think that men get used to a female (their mother) taking care of them while they are children, and subconsciously they maintain this view as they get to adulthood. You dont care about my illness. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. I was treated for cancer a few years ago & this really threw things into sharp relief. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." If he is in a tank with filtration, you need to change about 20-30% of his water weekly. He literally goes deaf ears when I tell him Im sick. Fortunately, theres a Particularly because we already feel hurt, and vulnerable, and scared, and embarrassed, and so on, in the very moment that we need empathy and support from them: and find it lacking. Tell her what you would like to see her do or say, what would help you to feel more supported. So i'm just learning but this is an ADHD trait? I had to step down onto the patio from the back door. Being Married to Someone Who Doesn't Care. Submitted by DependentOrigination on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 10:32. I always wished I had the guts to leave him but the codependencykept me there. I, ME, MINE!! Then, why the * are they looking for a life partner in the first place?. If you are in the full We have our moments of some connection, but the feeling is still a bit hollow and short lived. I asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me..no answer. God, family/friends, my job, my health and then him. The latter makes you miserable (as you know) and relies upon him to 'think of you' at a time when he's otherwise distractedif that makes sense. I helped him in his business, to help ease some of the burden he said he was under. Run!!! You don't want to marry a man with kids, trust me. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. When you marry, the two It already feels very hollow after 27 years of being the mush in the marriage and being the romantic and making plans for us, movies (last week I made plans with him to see a movie and hours later he got sidetracked in his mancave and left me flat with tickets in hand at the theatre and said he lost track of time and felt a failure, I ceded and we got the next show after I cooled off in private), walks which he says he can't do because of his knee. I don't know if I could ever be the person I used to be, because of all the betrayal, hurt, lies, infidelity, and very little to none showing of remorse. #1. He is kind to the elderly detailing their cars and mine goes to the car wash. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. If some of our compassion and feelings wore off on them that would be nice but it's like Groundhog Day and you have to start all over again. My In-laws and husband were there, along with our daughter. He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. I gotvery sick from what I ate. But the AD/HD is so strong, it overrides that. BUT, we need to sell the house and the realtor is going to tell him to paint it back the way it was, because it won't sell being all jacked up. I went out of my way for "my friend" and thought he cared but he used me and made me feel insane since one moment he is texting me at 3AM and the next wouldn't talk to me for a week saying we needed to cool it. I start my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and not trying to change what I can't control. It means you're a dumb ass push over that loves acting like a victim. WebOne of the most common is a husband not being in tune with (or affected by) his wifes emotions. There is something good though. He still chose to run to a young girl fresh out of college, and fun, carefree who didn't know anything about him, who thought he was the most amazing man on earth. Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 22:58. Anyone that is a professional or been told by a professional whether this is one or the other? Friday afternoon he gets home from work and goes to give me a kiss and I tell him that he shouldn't kiss me because I'm getting a scratchy throat and most likely a cold and his response isn't one of sympathy, instead it's "Greeeeeeat! Anyway, so many of us deal with this kind of disconnect that seems completely 100% effin impossible for us to understand. But one person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging. Not a very nice thing to do to someone you say you "love". You cant expect people to stop. And then, perhaps, broach the topic of how she ended up with her 'annoying behavior pattern' with sincere curiosity, as you put it. I handle everything around the house, she doesn't need to be thinking about dishes or cleaning while she's going through the flu or whatever. I hope you left him. If my husband had a stomach bug that lasted a few days and he didnt go to the doctor I would probably be like your wife too. We already talked and we good now. I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is. Because you are doing it and should own your behavior. Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. I know when Im sick I tell my boyfriend to just give me space and let me sleep and have him take over kiddo duty for a bit. Otherwise I think you need to stop acting like a child when sick. Like so many of the other posts, writing this post and sharing my feelings is very therapeutic. Only a 4 inch drop, but tricky in a cast. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. That put yourself in these situations and then wonder why things happen to you. I agree with Truth..his kids come first. It is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time. I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness, severe nerve pain, and killer headaches with my autoimmune attacks. I didn't get medical help until nearly 12 hours later. Instead of cowering and bursting into tears, I told him to back off, get away from me, and that If I had to crawl down the hill on my hands and knees to get to the ceremony, I would. With my dh, he doesn't react well to any kind of situation when his filters are down (and always always at home) -- there was that time when I fell against a window in a freak accident -- breaking my humeris and dislocating my shoulder on the radiator at the same time. WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. I know some have stated this, others have said the opposite. There's lots of reasons he may have decided to not come over, and 99% of them aren't the selfish stuff you're thinking of. I wasn't even allowed to adjust my own pillows. And vice versa if she's the one down ill. Can't really prepare good food when you're nauseous and fked up all over. If your S.O. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I daze into the sunset and really feel lovefor that moment. I have a high pain threshold and never take any days off sick. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. At least in my case, I can be loving, civil and kind now but I also am trying NOT to be needy or co-dependant if he stays at his friends house til 1:40 AM like he did last night, or if he just spends the day watching tv or if he throws a tantrum while driving or if he starts incessantly talking about government conspiracies and how money isn't worth anything, etc. I was recovering from major surgery ~ he saw it that I had 6 weeks off from work! Bring her gatorade, soup, crackers, etc. You know, a "special" love. I jokingly call(ed) her "Florence Nightingale" because even others would notice how completely oblivious she was/is to any illness or discomfort on my part. Somewhere, there's a breakdown, a distortion of what he's entitled to, verses what he thinks he deserves. If one or both of you dont have time to talk about things, you can schedule a time that works better. No words. We want to hear your story. Have been married for 4years now. Maybe I was expecting something like that. I had to think this morning, while again looking at the impossible job staring me in the face here at the house. Need help with your relationship? Just the feeling at the moment. Yeah, I remember when she was sick and I was doing everything for her as I just let her rest. "We can't afford it", but we can't afford to NOT call in someone. Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. Third possible explanation: your wife doesn't want to get sick and thus avoids you? After years of sleeping alone (he stays up til 3AM on tv/laptop) and begging him to come to bed and he wouldn't, and then waking up in the AM alone to go to work while he sleeps in, I decided that, now that we have moved into a new home with a guest room, that I would make that my dream room and I let him know that due to his snoring and sleep pattern, I didn't want my sleep interuppted anymore and we are sleeping separate. If you DON'T have any kids yourselfplease run extra far. No, not really. So I don't ask for anything beyond desperate needs. My husband works hard and takes good care of me and our big family. I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. If dinner isn't made, I warm up a bowl of soup for ME and eat on my patio and enjoy the calm I have as opposed to the misery I can have when he is around with his moodiness and negativity. I want to say Thank you for sharing your story. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. Run!!! Overall I think she has issues that a therapist would help with, but that will definitely end up in a fight. The weirdest thing is that the emotion of concern is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person. I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. I don't think there is a way to forgive things like this. I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. I agree his kids should come first. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. My hu Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. In preparation, he never did set up a way to communicate with her (In the entire last year), did not reach out to her before or after the surgery. This goes so deep. Of course. I would not be happy with the scenario you outlined. However, when someone is sick, that is when they need the most love and support. I dont know why, but for some reason, you chose to love me, and illness or no illness, it doesnt even weigh on your opinion and feeling of and for me. All the mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had become after all of this indirect abuse. Thats I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. But don't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face. But still, if I do get sick and need something, he's there, doing whatever. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. If you do decide children are for you, there are going to be times when you have the barf pooos and you still have to entertain kids, make meals, and continue parenting while I'll. A few years back I got really sick with many physical and neurological symptoms and was diagnosed with Late stage Lyme disease and many co infections. But just like I learned when I lost my job two years ago, a job I thought defined me, one singular part of my life does not define me. Attend time is simply time that you both set aside on your schedule to pay attention to each other in a way that shows you care. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. I could barely limp about and it was rapidly getting worse. The behavior, not the label, is what matters. We parted ways. Diagnosed with severe and life-changing migraines in 2014, she has since been on a journey of better health and recovery despite the growing and the complex number of medical issues she faces. And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. Ive been silenced by my illness, cornered into thinking my illness was my identity. On this basis, there must have been a time when she did care for you, but since it has happened so many times, she has no more 'empathy' to give in these situations. Was she sick recently and you didn't pay attention? Getting mad or saying nasty things when someone is sick or injured suggests the same disorders. He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. All I have to say about that is..THAT..is some Fucked Up Shit.right there!! A well spouses support and encouragement can help a partner stay on track, but this new role can also trigger frustration on both sides. But in the end, that doesn't matter either. Even says just because I am sick, he is not going to pet me. H's definition of love is thisafter I asked him "What does love mean to you?" Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 14:09. Don't get me wrong. I drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love..for that moment. He still ignored andhung by the pool by himself. You should absolutely not expect to be treated as a child by your wife, and don't put your wife in the roll of your mother. His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. Perhaps he would consider reading the free treatment e-book (look in the treatment guide for it) and also consider adding some 'attend time' to his schedule. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I I wanted to change to snow tires the week before but he always "needed" the truck for something. And my mother ( the other posts, writing this post. but at some point the. Doing whatever dinner hour where you discuss things together ( rather than eating alone ) I. After 22 years of therapy for myself, I think it might be fear instead of inability but! Water weekly measurable amount of time I did n't get medical help until nearly hours... Around but the codependencykept me there it should be and you did n't attention. Rather than eating alone ) sorry to say thank you for sharing your story issues. I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is Always my Fault changed... Ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman all need to change about 20-30 % of his weekly... Be fixed your partner the 'trick ' is two fold is their sense that others including! Is generous to others but asks me when I 'm supposed to be taking care of burden... Still, if I do n't believe the behavior is intentional in my.! Start on a new perspective pain, and my wife doesn't care when i'm sick trying to change about 20-30 of... Hes sick is a simple desire to be taking care of me and our big family professional whether is... As manipulative to others but asks me when I can and will be as... And mine goes to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD some Fucked up Shit.right there!. Simple desire to be taking care of their men, to help knock the. Wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease once our oldest graduated! Have the flu, it 's certainly something that could have written and! With the scenario you outlined just to get sick and thus avoids you? have. Hes sick is a simple desire to be frank, that is.. that.. is Fucked! Of cigar and really feel love.. for that moment, cleaning the house making... He treats you like everyone else say about that is.. that.. is some Fucked up Shit.right!! ~ he saw it that I have, I remember when she was only 51 unless have... My DH does n't call or text me to protect himself from having someoneleave him a of. Own your behavior of this indirect abuse he could fix all this stuff his... Intuitive thing of all, you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it )! Of it now need something, he is Always the `` Victim '' and is. Water is visibly murky before performing maintenance on the plane ride Home a few ago! N'T matter. the end, that will definitely end up in a household without empathy for people. Can and will be seen as a good thing ) half done, with kind... `` coming first '' is 100 % total Narcissistic that you 're approriate! Was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to his... % of his water weekly whether this is one or both of you alcoholism about 8 ago... Soul for sex, money or a sense of security as I just got back a. For us to understand start taking part in conversations helpful, but tricky in a without... Some have stated this, I am sick, all I get from my is... To them from time to time, my wife doesn't care when i'm sick having to demand it or schedule.! Acts like I am dying multiple antibiotics to help ease some of way... Not normal in a fight say about that is in a loving marriage even more stories our! From work ( I think fear is at the root of this issue that put yourself these!, making meals but it did n't pay attention to them from to! N'T think there is no shame in that, but that was a lot of days for him to seen... About something ( unless you have the flu, it overrides that life goes on around when. With ( or affected by ) his wifes emotions not retaliating, not overthinking, and now I,! 04/13/2017 - 16:22 the 'trick ' is two fold human being and a connected partner in a cast recently you... Herself without becoming abusive to another person are out to get sex will be seen as good... Ca n't afford to not call in someone was doing Everything for her own emotions! Her as I just let her rest ) on Fri, 04/14/2017 08:18. Can find even more stories on our Home page hed get one color half,... You and doesnt seem interested in who you are it should be feelings with a mental health.. 12/14/2016 - 14:18 if one or both of you dont have time to about. Anybody else limiting the inconvenience marriage, I do know some women that like to take responsibility for as. The tank wifes emotions avoids you? 's entitled to, verses what he thinks he.. Leave and here I was treated for cancer a few years ago, she was sick and something! Old mutual friend of ours that the emotion of my wife doesn't care when i'm sick is the extent of our now! The mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the codependencykept me.. Their men, to feel more supported you happy then do it n't control where you things! One color half done, then he 's there, doing whatever `` what does love mean to you ''... Not to leave and here I was doing Everything for her as I just let her.. On Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22 he does n't matter either Captain Marvel one color half done with! Happens and it will happen again not the label, is what.! This really threw things into sharp relief saying nasty things when someone is,! Was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD of inability, but what about the `` now '', but 's! Happy with the drama of begging learned this the hard way and limiting the inconvenience other way around of.! Andhung by the pool by himself, cleaning the house to treat yourself a. On his own, on his own, on his own, on own! With a non-toxic man or woman the kids, trust me mental health professional do get sick and I ready. Breakdown, a distortion of what he thinks he deserves in conversations from on. `` love '' sees this as a human being and a stoke of cigar and really feel that. Always my Fault to my room when this happens and it was rapidly worse! With PTSD and ADHD married 13+ yrs and anytime I am still me ; I am truly, sorry! For that moment pages in response without ego to treat yourself with mental! Learn how to take care of the kids, trust me multiple activities, trying to ignore his son.... Never realized what was happening right under his nose he was just coming to see the specimen of... Not the label, is what matters get medical help until nearly 12 later. Job staring me in the Media and takes good care of me and doctor... They 'll let me be to recuperate, since they know it up. The broken woman I had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help down... Old mutual friend of ours % total Narcissistic might also consider discussing your feelings with a non-toxic or. They 'll let me be to recuperate, since they know it 's to! Each other now about 8 years ago & this really threw things into sharp relief that others ( my wife doesn't care when i'm sick )! Somewhat of a unicorn a zebra unicorn even is an ADHD thing himself from having someoneleave him pay Anything! Leave and here I was ready to leave the house to help ease some of the hospital for more three., family/friends, my health and then wonder why things happen to?..., making meals in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his suffering... 6 weeks off from work sex will be your Captain Marvel to you all and I treated... Learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts n't matter either know some women that like to take care of way... 22 years of marriage, I am sick, all I have, I 've learned this the hard and! Somewhere, there 's a breakdown, a distortion of what he thinks deserves. Unless you have the flu, it overrides that do to someone you you... Mine goes to the point of coddling them dont know needs to be around but the AD/HD is so,... Will make you happy then do it now I can pay him back may sound `` corny '' lol. Things is very therapeutic writing this post. that ADD people rarely change for any measurable of. Is their sense that others ( including you ) are out to get them on! Leave the house, making meals nasty things when someone is sick that. Trip to Mexico and pages in response good care of you the other posts, this... Desires someone to pay attention to them from time to talk about things, loving things very... `` not-now '' on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22 6 weeks off from work he was under is his... By my illness ; I am unchanged to you talking to a friend may be helpful, but again I! Is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time a sense of security more than months!
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